This report is delayed because there were so many challenges with internet access no broadband anyway, and then I tried to get access for hours and was not successful. I needed a lot of self-empathy, and sadly computers don’t seem to react on empathy!
I travelled twice to Mbita, the next town, one hour by motorbike, driving slalom around holes in the street (no tarmac), to increase the chance for sending emails. But also there it took me two hours once.
So I get to send this report after the end of the 4th week. Last week I was so busy that I didn’t get to writing.

Report 3rd week
We continued the training. The main subject during this week was punishment. Can we live without punishment and punishing, how can we keep discipline with out threatening and punishing?
The participants realised that it is important to be aware of the needs of both sides and to find solutions concerning the needs. Especially that the party that has more power also expresses their needs instead of demanding.
During the training of the following day one of the participants told us about her experience with one of the orphans she cares for. The young woman is expected to clean the house and especially the kitchen. Repeatedly she didn’t do it and when asked again for doing it, she answered that she would do it the following day in the evening nothing had happened.
Coming home from the seminar she sat down with the young woman and explored the needs of both of them, especially those of the young woman. There was real connection; they were able to recognise each other with their unmet needs. Today the kitchen was clean.
On another day the experience of one of the participants triggered us - the issue was about parents kids – contribution – autonomy.
She shared that the stepmother of her husband had not accepted her for years as daughter-in-law. She had told everybody she was too old for her husband (she is maybe some years older than he is); she refused to talk with her She wanted to know how she could react empathetically in a situation like this. We went into a role-play and she was satisfied.
This was a trigger to talk about challenging situations in families.
One participant shared that his parents had forced him twice not to marry a woman he loved, even the one with whom he had a child. Even after he had married the women they had presented him, they keep criticising him.
In a role-play we tried to find out how he could have empathised with himself and his parents in this situation. He could see their needs and at the same time he was still deep pain and grief because his need for autonomy had not been met, his need for integrity (reliability) concerning his partner and their child.
In the end he said that a marriage should bring happiness and celebration to the family and that therefore it would necessary that all members of the family would consent.
And he had learned that it is possible to learn to love someone in the course of time.
Wednesday the 16th of July was the official launching of the office of Badilisha, the organisation that had invited us. Many people from the surrounding villages and also from Mbita, the town next to Rusinga Island had come. Kids from the schools on the island performed plays and songs. We were introduced to the auditorium. There were many speeches. The Area Chief and even the District Officer (both appointed people with administrative functions).
I will finish here to get the report out.